Friday, February 27, 2009
You Decide...
Sad
Empty
Scared
Alone
Are these words that describe my aunt following the death of her husband of over 60 years, or are these words to describe me...or are these words that describe my younger sister....or are these words that describe my 17 year old daughter...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Teacher?
Wow....we went deeper still...here I was, broken, simple, single-mom, teaching my teacher....
I am amazed that God can use me, in my simple broken life....not my educated electrical engineering self...no....He uses the part of my life that holds nothing to boost in....that part that I am not proud of....He uses that part of me to teach someone who was my teacher...
Friday, February 13, 2009
Uncle Paul
Wilmore's Blacklist
This morning...my daughter, Becky, came downstairs sick...fevered, sore throat, coughing and a rash. She's had scarlet fever several times, so I'm fearful that might be what she is dealing with now. I get her back to bed and call the doctor. We'll go in for a strep culture later this morning.
It's time to go to the doctor. We are waiting for the doctor to come into the room. We begin to discuss my other children's ideas that they have 'gay-dar.' Becky makes this statement, "What the heck! It seems that Wilmore has it's own version of McCarthyism...including it's own version of the Hollywood Blacklist."
She's right. It seems that this culture wants to quickly put labels on people...not good labels but accusatory labels. Here in this town, we would rather put these people on the Blacklist than have to deal with the people. We want to isolate them off - discount them, not walk with them on their journey, caring for them.
I pray that I can be different and that I can raise my children to be different. I thank the Lord for Becky and for her insight here. (i love sick days with my kids...spending the day hearing them)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Valentines Decision
I took David out shopping for his valentine's gift and card for his girlfriend. I was surprised at the time and thought that he put into it. He was looking for the perfect gift...and card. He painstakingly looked at every stuffed animal until he finally spotted one and picked it up and said, "This one is it. It jumped right out at me."
Then we went to the card isle...we read each one....all of them, until he found the perfect one. It was cute and funny but a little vulnerable.
He used to do this for gifts and cards for me...and now, well, there is a young little girl that he has done this for....exactly as it should be.
I am not Joking
I say, "So, you've seen the action in my front yard."
He says, "Oh yea...he's been very busy."
I told you...my front yard has been educating the neighborhood and the small children going to school!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Happy Hump Day!
there is Graham humping his little girlfriend.
Yes, he is on her riding like there is no tomorrow. I can not believe my eyes....the boy is fixed and has been fixed since he was a wee lad! I didn't think he knew what to do!
Side note: I live right across the street from the back entrance to Wilmore Elementary School...and it just so happens that the time I let Graham out in the morning is the time when all the little elementary school kids are going up to school...so yesterday morning they all watched my dog getting his weiner licked in the front yard...and now all out fornication! I see small children pointing at my dog and I see parent's faces in total disgust. Yes, we are providing sex education to the small children on the way to school!
Anyhow, I yell out again..."Hey Graham. Get your horny butt in here...there will be no fornication on my front lawn...start my day off with this..."
Happy hump day!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, Monday....Oh Wait, It's Tuesday
I have survived another morning of this game and I get to the bottom of the steps and open the door. I hook him on his chain. Close the door and go put wheat bread in the toaster. It pops up and I make my breakfast of toast and tomato with some garlic powder and salt. I hear David coming down the steps...I'm walking around eating and putting up dishes from the dishwasher. David comes into the kitchen to get his breakfast, a bowl of applesauce, and takes it into the living room to eat.
Normally, I would have heard a "ruff" at the front door by now....which means Graham is done outside and wants to come in and get his morning snicky-snack. But I haven't and I'm wondering why. I open the front door and there is Graham standing in the yard with a visitor...a little black and white dog. Graham has his back leg lifted up in the air and is letting this little visitor lick his weiner. I yell out the door.."Graham. Get in here. What are you thinking, fornicating in my front yard first thing."
Graham comes running...his mistress takes off running. David hollers out to me, "What was going on?" I say, "Graham was standing outside with his leg up in the air letting some dog lick his weiner. Like I want to see that in the morning."
Graham runs into the foyer, gets to my feet and vomits. I say, "Graham, what the heck? Are you sick or something? Vomiting at my feet."
David then says this....
"I'd vomit too if someone licked my weiner!"
Oh....I'm saving this one for his wedding rehearsal dinner.
The Nuisance...er....Nuance of Valentine's Day
David has a girlfriend. How do I know this....because he is officially listed as in a 'relationship' on Facebook...too cute. He showed me her pictures last night....cute girl....really cute.
Yesterday, David was home sick. We spent the day together...I love and cherish those days...him laying around and very cuddly. I find that these days don't happen often for teenagers. Anyhow, my pastor comes by my house and delivers a valentines to me...he does it for single and divorced mom's and widows. When he leaves, David asks me this, "mom, is today valentines day?"
"No....it's Saturday," I say.
David says, "Good...whew, I thought I missed it."
I now clue into the fact that this comment has come from my son who is in a relationship and say, "So what are you going to get Jacelyn?"
He says, "Well, i guess nothing because i won't see her on Saturday."
I say, "Wrong answer. You'll see her Friday and she'll expect something."
He's worried now, "Mom, what should I get her?"
I tell him I have no idea..."Maybe something chocolate."
So, KT comes home from school and sits down. I say, "Hey KT, David and I are discussing what he should get Jacelyn for valentines day. Got any ideas what a young girl would want for valentines day?"
HERE COMES QUOTE OF THE WEEK - done as only KT can:
KT says, "How the heck (it was a little more colorful word that this) would i know? I've never had a boyfriend on valentines day....you're on your own David....12 years old and in a relationship my ars."
I nearly wet myself. She cracks me up.
Okay....Becky comes home a little later and I say, "Hey Beck, what should David get Jacelyn for valentines day?"
She says, "a rose."
I say, "Really?"
David says, "I want to get her something romantic..."
SECOND QUOTE OF THE WEEK - and I'm convince this is a direct result of us living in Wilmore, Kentucky:
David says, "...so, we need to go to Walmart."
Hilarious!
Becky looks up and says, "David, Walmart is not romantic."
So David sings, "Well then....Every kiss begins with KAY."
QUOTE THAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY MIND, but I didn't verbalize it:
Are you kidding me....you're 12 and you're getting action....I'm 45 and I get nothing!
My life.Monday, February 9, 2009
Never Eat Yellow Snow...Never Be Dirty Snow
So...I'm driving along Jessamine Station. It's a beautiful spring feeling day...warm air, sunshine...beautiful. Something on the side of the road catches me eye. It is a small pile of snow that was plowed off to the side of a driveway during our last snowfall. Now as you may know, I LOVE snow...I do. I love it when it snows at night...blanketing the earth in white. It feels pure and clean and quiet. The blanket of white seems to be able to purify the earth...covering the dirt and mud with pure white. I love the quietness of a winter's night. I love to go for walks in the fresh snow of a winter's evening. The snow seems to be able to quiet the commotion of this crazy world. It is during those snowy evening walks that I feel that I can hear God...really hear Him. I love those times...
Now I see this pile of snow...it's dirty, grey and black...not white at all. I don't feel clean and pure when I see it...I am disgusted by it....wishing that it would just melt away already.
It suddenly hits me...is this possibly what my "righteousness" looks like to the world? I am supposed to wear the righteousness of Christ - removing my filthy rags and putting on His righteousness. His righteousness is that pure blanket of fresh snow....whiter than white...able to quiet the craziness of my world...it's perfect and beautiful. But then I put it on....and somehow, if I don't spend time with Him, letting Him refresh that pure layer of snow (righteousness) then it turns into this...an ugly pile of grey and dirty snow (righteousness).
Lord, please cover me with a fresh layer of your righteousness.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
A Hero?
I have to tell you...this really annoys me. I hate how they wait until the last minute...doing anything and everything for as long as possible to delay their homework. I guess I used to do the same thing in my youth - but I wish they would learn from my mistakes. I wish that I could show them the error of their ways and that they would realize how much fun they could be having if they would just get the work done and then play. I'm done dreaming...back to the story.
So, they finally begin their homework...they pull out tons of books and papers and I surmise that this is going to be a LATE night.
Four hours later, after many..."Are you working on your homework?"...my sons tells me that he has to write a memoir....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....this is going to a LONG night.
He takes the laptop upstairs and comes down about an hour later and says he needs a picture of me and a picture of him and I together. I tell him to look on the laptop and find some.
He comes down about an hour later and says that he is done and needs to print it out. I tell him to get it done because it's midnight and I am going to bed. He comes upstairs and says he's done and he would like me to read it. I ask him if it can wait until the morning. He says yes, but he seems a bit disappointed.
We go to sleep.
The next morning, when David gets up, I ask him to read his memoir. He seems pleased that I have asked. He hands it to me and says, "It is kind of sad."
I read it...I had no idea that the divorce was as hard as it was on him. I had no idea that he struggled with the divorce being his fault somehow. I had no idea that he questioned God....I HAD NO IDEA. He was only 2 years old when we separated...
My eyes well up with tears as I read the next statement. "Mom led me back to Jesus. She is my hero."
I have never been anybody's hero. I am not worthy to be my son's hero.
I look up at him. We embrace...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
12 Year Old Boy Joy
He grows tired of that game...Becky and I continue to work on our computers. Suddenly his ITouch lets out a loud and long farting sound....he follows it up with a wet-fart sound....both of these sounds causes Becky and I to peer up over our laptops at him. His face is beaming....totally delighted with the fact that he has gotten us both to look up at him. To boot, my daughter lets out a groan of disgust...exactly what he was hoping for. He gets his ITouch to make a one-cheek-sneak fart sound. She moans again......I BUST OUT LAUGHING. He thinks that I am laughing at the sounds that he has made...so he joins me.....laughing.......this cause me to laugh the deep laugh from the depths of my soul. This causes my daughter to moan, "Mom, you are crazy to think that's funny"...David takes great delight in the fact that I do and that it has disgusted his sister....so he laughs harder.....I am now crying and laughing! I love my children. I love the dynamics of my children. I love how they are created and who they are. I love how they interact with each other. I love the whole boy and girl dynamic. I love to see them process farting sounds differently. I love that David can get our attention - which is what he loves - anytime he wants....by a simple fart.
I love the joy they bring me!
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Joy of the Thaw
I waited and watched...as the day progressed the ice continued to melt and fall off. As the next two days unfolded, something amazing happened. The tree, which had been bent all the way to the ground, sprung back up to its old height and glory. It has always been a beautifully shaped tree and it returned to that same shape.
After the deep groanings of the soul, after there has been damage, is it possible to regain its shape? Can a soul return to the shape it was created to have?