Thursday, December 16, 2010

Bounce Bounce Whoosh


So, it is a snowy, cold evening and I am sitting in the living room all alone. I am thinking about a similar evening 17 years and 76 days ago....

It was September 30th, 1993 around 11:30pm. It was a cold and brisk....very brisk night. I was extremely pregnant, due any minute. I was laying in bed and Katie, who was 2 years old, and Don were playing beside me. He was rough housing with her. She was jumping up and he would catch her and throw her....they were having a fun time. I was laying on my side, facing them when suddenly Katie jumped up and came down right on my belly.....whoosh......my water broke. It was time.

We drove to the hospital...it was a clear night, brisk, with a hard frost. We pulled up to the hospital at around 1 am on October 1 and went inside. After some paperwork, they took me to my room, and when they checked me, they said I would be holding my little girl in less than an hour.

The doctor had to be awakened and called in...he wasn't very happy...one hour later....no baby girl....two hours later.....three.....four.....five.....the sun came up.....no baby girl. Finally around 10 am they said I could push....and push I did. Suddenly the doctor's face went grim...."Don't push!" he shouted. I panted my way through the next contractions....I was scared.....I had no idea what was going on.....finally he said, "Everything is okay, now push." It turns out that the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck...twice. But the doctor was able to get it off without any complications.

A few pushes later and I heard that familiar cry.....and there she was....my Becky. She was so beautiful, which didn't surprise me at all, because when I was deciding on her name....and thought of "Becky" all I could think was that every Becky that I have ever known has been beautiful....and so my Becky she would be.

The doctor had to hurry and leave...there was a West Virginia Mountaineer game and he had to get to it. Don had to get to work.....it was just Becky and I. We spent that whole day getting to know each other, just she and me. Those were quiet moments, special moments.....moments that I will cherish forever.....

And now tonight, I remember those moments because in only a few months she will be leaving for college. It's a clear, cold night.....and I still cherish her.

Friday, December 3, 2010

A snowy night alone

So, fourteen years ago tonight....I sat in my living room, with all my Christmas lights turned on...the tree...the creche....the M&M lights around the doorway....the village....all aglow. I sat there, all alone......me and my baby to be. I was very pregnant....due any day....it was to be a boy. I had been in bed for about an hour, when suddenly I awoke to a familiar pain. It was getting close to the time when I would see his face. I went out to the living room, my two beautiful girls were tucked safely in bed. I turned on all the Christmas lights, and I sat there.....reading.....praying....and waiting to see his face....to hold him.

The pain went from every 15 minutes to every 10.....then to every 9.....8.....7......it was time to wake others up. We drove to the hospital....the roads were empty. It was an easy drive. We arrived and began preparations for his arrival.

My David was born on December 3rd, 1996. It was a Tuesday. He weighed 10 lbs. He was beautiful....we named him, David Nathaniel Hogan....."beloved of God, gift of God."

That was fourteen years ago tonight.....tonight.....I sit in my living room.....alone, well a dog beside me.....David and Becky asleep.....Katie away at college........and I am praying again.......praying for my David.