Colonel Mustard in the Library with a Candlestick

So, I was talking to my baby sister the other day...catching up on life. She is in the midst of a divorce (not fun...I know).

We are discussing life...when suddenly she says, "Shoot, I have to get my jeans out of the dryer. Wait a minute. Wait, I have to put them on."

Ohhhhhh.....I know what's going on here....every woman in the United States knows this trick....pull your jeans out of the dryer wet and put them on your body...you can stretch those babies out two sizes.

So, she gets that done and we continue talking. I mention that my sinuses have been bothering me and I have been using my neti-pot daily. She says, "Shoot....I need to get mine out of the box. I haven't used it yet."

I am in total disbelief....I find such relief from mine so I encourage her to open her neti-pot and use it.

Then she asks me this, "Can you use a neti-pot if you have a deviated septum?"

We both begin to laugh as we picture the headlines: "Woman found dead in her bathroom, in wet jeans and a neti-pot sticking out of her nose."

We figured the mystery would be solved, "ex-husband in the bathroom with a neti-pot."

If a tree falls in the woods...

So, on February 19th I blogged about my electrical engineering professor and our time together as I revisited my alma mater...

Tonight I received sad news, beyond sad....he has passed away. He is gone.

He leaves behind two small granddaughters. His wife, their grandma, is gone. His daughter, their mom, is gone. Their dad is in jail. There was just the three of them. He was their grandfather and their caregiver. Now, he is gone.

What must they be feeling? All alone. No one. I can not imagine what those two little girls are feeling. I have always had a net of love to catch me when I fall. Who is their net of love?

Who will care for them? Who will brush their hair? Who will feed them? Who will kiss them goodnight? Who will catch them when they fall?

Tonight, I go to bed sad, sick...for two lonely girls about to face a life with no safety net.

So, if a child falls in the world and no one is there to hear them, do they make a sound?

Balls and Lavender

So, I'm sitting at home tonight....Becky and David are out jumping on the trampoline. David has a friend over, he is jumping too. Suddenly, the door swings open and someone enters amidst tears and sobs. Of course I immediately think broken bones, cracked open head, or paralyzation. I run to the door...it's David. I don't see any blood and he is walking, well limping....whew, a sigh of relief. I ask him what happened. He says, "Becky threw a ball at my balls." (sob, sob, tears, meltdown).

I go outside and have the "boy's balls" talk with my daughter. Of course she feels he deserved it. He had thrown a ball at her....I have to explain that his balls are off limits during retaliation. I tell her that no matter WHAT he does to her, she IS NOT allowed to hit him in the balls. She, being 15, comes up with several reasons why it might be appropriate to hit him in the balls...she's 15 and good at it.

I leave that fun discussion and walk to my friend's porch. She is sitting on her swing with two large plants protruding from her nostrils....turns out her son and his friend are moving into her house for the summer....she is trying to find serenity through two lavender leaves that she has stuck up her nose. She hears my conversation and breaks me off two pieces of lavender. I shove them up my nose and we swing.

I sure hope it's a bumper crop of lavender this year...I have a feeling I'm going to need it.

Cinco de Mayo - a day of loyality

So, today is Cinco de Mayo. This is such a fun day, a celebration of Mexican heritage (being loyal to your heritage) - it is not the Mexican Independence day.

I go out to lunch with two friends from work....of course we go out to a Mexican restaurant...chicken fajitas and chips and salsa....and good and loyal friends.

Tonight, I go over to a dear friend's house for another Cinco de Mayo celebration....there are three of us....good and loyal friends. We have fun.

It strikes me today....I have GREAT friends....the one, underlying quality of all my friends....they are very loyal. I like that....I need that.....

So here's to you my very loyal friends! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

A Quick Drive to Joy

So...as I stated earlier in my blog....

I have been struggling with my "journey" to joy because I am struggling with the word journey and all the baggage that is associated with it. I told a friend that I was banning the word "journey" from my vocabulary....I told her that I was going to call it "A Quick Drive to Joy."

Okay...so how is my quick drive to joy going? Well, it's been a very interesting weekend...

After the soccer tournament this past weekend....I'm driving home all alone (thankfully, David rode home with a friend)....and true to statistics....a few miles from my home I go into a curve and I don't come out. Well, I did come out....just not the way that I thought or planned.

I go into this 'S' curve...I have dubbed it "Deadman's curve" from the moment I moved here. It is a curve that daily has a new cross on the side of the rode. It is a double curve...with horse fences on both side and a chain link fence and a pond. I mean it...these curves are deadly....the horse fences are always down and there is always a new cross on the side of the rode.

So, I go into this double curve on Sunday during my Quick Drive Home...I go into it and I hydro-plane. I am heading straight into oncoming traffic broadside, and two cars are coming at me from the other direction. I pull the wheel hard to the right....the wheels catch and I am now heading right toward two horse fences. I hit something which throws me into several 360's. As I go round and round, I see a blur of horse fence, chain link fence and a pond.

Around and around I go....horse fence, chain link fence and a pond....over and over again. I am pretty certain that I am going to end up in the pond. I finally come to a stop....just short of entering the pond.

Okay....again, I have to wonder....can a "quick drive" really get you anywhere? You know, anywhere really worth going.

Is the whole journey...the slowness...the key...have I missed the whole point? Do you have to slowly process this to get to joy?

Is it impossible to do a quick drive and get to joy? Does the quick drive only lead to a pond?

So, onward I go...slowly....to joy.

Boys love monster trucks

So, I am at a soccer tournament this weekend....for 12 year old boys....how fun can this weekend get I ask you?

My son has been on this traveling team for several years now. We usually do about three tournaments each season. My son loves these weekends. Me? Well, not so much.

So the first game was this morning. It's been raining all weekend long. The fields are a sloppy, muddy, wet mess. Our boys won. So, boys being boys, the whole team runs to the middle of the field and belly slides through the muddy mess.

Are you kidding me?

I'm looking at my son and thinking, "You are NOT getting into my new car like that." He looks back at me with total pride.

So, mom wins and David has to strip down to nothing and change clothes before he gets into the car.

We now have 6 hours to kill...boys running and playing and laughing and eating and stinking....how fun can this weekend get? Boys will be boys.

So, my son brings in 3 of his friends to our room to watch the Derby. They start showing the celebrities that are attending the Derby. One of my son's friends says, "Isn't that Dolly Parton?"

My son looks up and says, "That's not Dolly Parton. Dolly has monster trucks."

I look over at him and he says, "What? She does have 2 giant monster trucks." And he makes a hand motion of giant boobs.

Monster Trucks? He's 12. Boys will be boys. Oh, this is going to be fun.

The Other Sister

So this morning, I'm laying in bed, awake but not up yet. It's only 6 am and even though I can't sleep I am very tired. Suddenly my phone rings...now I'm scared. The only people who make calls at 6 am, are people that have bad news to tell you. I answer the phone with trepidation.

It's Darlene, the other sister or aunt nut-nut. Now there is nothing mentally wrong with Darlene, the other sister...she just sees life differently than my baby sister and I. So, we have lovingly named her "the other sister" as our term of endearment.

Darlene is notorious for late night "I looooooooove you!" phone calls. You know the kind....when you've had a little too much to drink and you feel like you need to call someone and tell them that you love them.

So, it's 6 am and it's the other sister on the phone....she's nocturnal, so this early morning call has me concerned....turns out this is just a REALLY LATE "I loooooooove you" call.

The first thing out of her mouth is this, "Do you know how lucky you are to not live in Warren?" Oh yes, I know.

Then she says this, "You are never going to believe what you mother called me and said last week."

She said, "Next week either Judy or I will swing by and pick you up. You are going to lunch with us, so be ready. We are going to go to church and watch some woman DO Ruth."

Well, I might not have been completely on my game at this time in the morning....but I'm on it enough to know that this is funny. So, I begin to laugh....

Darlene then goes on to say, "Isn't this strange? To go to church and watch a woman DO Ruth."

Now you see why she is The Other Sister....and boy do I loooooooooooooove her!