Put me in coach...I'm ready to play

So, today I found myself in a very familiar situation....and yet at the time it didn't dawn on me that I had been here before.

Let me digress, I was in sixth grade....a very shy young girl. I had a few friends at school, but for the most part I watched life happen around me, a spectator of life with no confidence to enter in. Anyhow, one day following school, I began to walk home and came upon another sixth grader, a very large young man who was the school bully, who had a young fifth grade girl, the school "cooty girl," up against the wall and was smashing garbage into her face. Well, even though I was quite content to watch most of life pass by, I was not content to watch this unfold. This was injustice...this was wrong. I happen to be Italian...and therefore, my passions and emotions can, and sometime do, rule me....this was one of those moments. I, a shy spectator of life, walked up to the bully and grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around to face me. At this time I said, "Leave her alone." He then said, "Who is going to make me?" I replied, "Me." He pushed me up against the wall and began to beat the living tar out of me.....I might be emotional and passionate but I am not a good fighter. Good news was that he stopped picking on the young girl....

Now, fast forward to eleveth grade. I am still a spectator of life. I have a few good friends, but for the most part, I lack any confidence to participate in a crowd. I am at a high school football game with a friend and I had to take my little sister, Judy, with me. She was a sixth grader. Anyhow, we were watching the game from the bleachers and Judy leans over to me and says, "That large girl behind me is burning me with her cigarette butt." I look behind us and there is a very large, manly looking girl trying to burn my sister with her cigarette. Again, my emotions kick in and I say, "Hey, leave my sister alone." The large bully ignores me. A little time passes and Judy leans over and says, "She is burning me again." I turn around and say, "Hey bitch....leave my sister alone." Next thing I know, she pounces on me....we both roll down a few bleachers and I am pinned under her while she beats the crap out of me.

Okay....fast forward to today.....I am at work and sitting in a committee meeting....a discussion begins about something that will drastically affect our hourly employees. I have to admit, that for the most part I have been a spectator in this group....watching and listening to the things that are going on around me....not really confident that I can offer any wisdom to this particular group....but today.....my emotions kick in and I speak....and then I follow it up with analysis and an email.

Now, I wait....to see if this particular emotional outburst will result in the same outcome....you know....getting the crap beat out of me.

As I reflect on today...I wonder why there are these moments in my life when I refuse to be a spectator and enter into the situation with authority and courage....I find that the common denominator is when I see injustice....specifically, when someone with superior status, or size, or title, tries to silence the underdogs voice....or belittle the underdog....or take advantage of them, or neglect them....I find that I can speak, I find my voice.....or maybe I find that I can be their voice.....