More than Scooby was in my lap

So, this past Friday night was homecoming at the high school. My daughter Becky had a date....a friend date. Which meant that I had to pick her up after the dance.

It started to get late, like 11 pm, and I started to get tired, so I decided to shower and get dressed for bed. I got out of the shower and put my over-sized t-shirt, no bra, and my Scooby Doo boxer shorts. My hair was wet and I had no makeup on.

The clock struck midnight and Becky called me to say, "Come and get me." A fleeting thought enters my mind....maybe I should throw on a bra....ah.....who's going to see me? I'm just picking up my daughter.

So, I drove to the school and got in a LONG line of traffic.....I saw lots of people .....and they saw me....I comforted myself with that fact that because I am 45 years old....and nursed all three of my children, so no one could see my bra-less boobs....because they were sitting in my lap.

Growing bellies and growing love

So, as I sat there in the OB/GYN, I suddenly became very aware of my age....I am 45. I am not 25; young, bright eyed, tight skin that match the tight jeans, long flowing hair....I am not that. I am 45; older, wiser, baggy skin that match the baggy jeans, short and gray haired. My eyes are not so bright now....they do not hold that twinkle of mystery and wonder, not knowing what is down the road....no, they hold a look that says, "Oh, I know what you are in for....I've been there, done that"....and therefore, my eyes hold compassion.

I saw myself in those young, pregnant women. They were so full of delight as they waddled into the office. They had NO idea how much their life was about to change. They had NO idea that this is not just a time of growth in your belly. NO.....this is a growth in your love....from now until the day you die. This baby is your responsibility....you will never stop worrying about this child....you sill never stop loving this child...you will never stop wanting the best, working to provide....and the more children that you have....the more your love and worry grows....and then your children grow and get married and have children....and the more your love and worry grows.

So, maybe that explains the difference in our looks....their look is expected love......my look captures an existing love, an expanding love.....a full love, with all the responsibility that entails.

No shoes, no shirt, no service

So, OB/GYN, observation day 2......

I am amazed at what is going on in our society today.....yesterday, as I waited for 4 glorious hours in the waiting room of the OB/GYN, I couldn't help but get a glimpse of our current economy. I happened to sit in the chair next to the front desk. I can't begin to count the number of women who were VERY pregnant, and signed in, only to be called back up to the desk and told, "I'm sorry, your insurance is no longer active."

Then I listened to these young ladies, MANY of them, trying to convince the receptionist that there is some mistake....they have insurance. After several phone calls, they were told that they have no insurance.

One young lady is burned into my memory. She was VERY pregnant, I mean drop that baby at any moment pregnant. She walked up to the front desk and signed in and gave them her insurance card. Then she was called back up and told, "I'm sorry, your insurance is no longer active." She looked like a deer in the headlights....totally confused and shocked.

She slowly walked back to her seat and sat and stared for a long time. Then she proceeded to make several calls on her cell phone. When she finished the final one, she still had the deer in the headlights look.

This doctor's office basically refused at least seven women in the four hours that I was there.

I came home and read my paper and there was an article from a Christian OB/GYN that said he has never seen the amount of patients that have tried to convince his staff that they still have their insurance, when in fact, they do not. He and his office have decided to wave payments for these poor women who have no insurance and are pregnant or sick.

Can I just say this, "God, please bless this doctor and his practice!"

What have we become? When a woman who is ready to drop a baby any moment is told that she has not insurance and without insurance, there is no service......seriously, is this what we have become?

I am reminded of the signs, "No shoes, no shirt, no service," that is found on most fast-food joints.....now, I am expecting to see this sign on all doctor's office doors, "No insurance, no service."

Waddle, waddle

So, today I spent about 4 hours in the waiting room of an OB/GYN....I've got lots of material for the next few days.

First off, can I just ask this: "Why oh why do we have to have the OB and the GYN doctor combined?" Seriously, these young pregnant women sure as heck don't want to see me.....what they will look like some 20 years from now.

But for us 40 somethings....well, it was a fun day.

One of the highlights came when a very pregnant 20 something dropped her pen....I sat there and watched as she tried to bend over and maneuver around belly to get that pen. It took her a good six tries to finally grab that pen. Fun times.

I enjoyed people watching. There was the couple who walked into the waiting room with a newborn baby (I'd guess 6 weeks old) in tow. They both had that "we have a newborn in the house" look. You know, the running on no sleep, having no idea what to do with this screaming, eating, pooping little creature. The young mom looked totally weary....you know, that "crazy no sleep" look. The dad had that "not much sleep and no sex" look about him. I could tell he was anxious for his wife to get the 6 week followup appointment over and hear these words, "It's safe to have sex again." I could tell his wife had the "it might be 6 weeks, but there is no way in _ _ _ _ I am giving him sex" look. As a matter of fact, as they sat there waiting, he was fidgeting and anxious....he wanted to get back to the doctor as soon as possible.....she sat there, dead-dog tired, big bags under her eyes, breast feeding the baby....trying to burp her....and she just stared at her husband....that crazy-no-sleep look. I am going to watch the 11 o'clock news tonight to see if the doctor said yes or no to 6 week sex....I figure if the doctor said yes, I will see a homicide due to insanity on the news tonight.

I'll give some more highlights later.

Hillbilly heaven

So, today I had to run into Kroger quickly to get a cookie-cake for work tonight. I was on my lunch hour and in a bit of a hurry.

Note to self....never think that you can run into Kroger quickly for anything in the middle of the day when you live in Hillbilly Heaven.

So, I am flying into the Kroger parking lot when alas, I have to slam on the break for a very large, old, dilapidated Town Car who decides to pull in front of me and SLOWLY make his way through the parking lot. Grrrrr........me and my Honda are tight on his rear-end.

Slowly......oil-burning Town Car putt-putt-putt looking for a parking spot.....as soon as I get to a row, I make a hard left and Town Car continues closer to the entrance. I go about 6 spots down the row and park. I quickly get out of the car and rapidly walk to the entrance. As I get close to the entrance....there is the dang Town Car pulling up in front of the store, in the fire lane, and parking.

"Are you kidding me," I think to myself.

Then the best part of my day happens.....the lady in the Town Car opens her door as I am approaching and gets out and steps right in front of me....a move that is very similar to the one she just made with her car. "Nice," I think. Then she spreads out between the flowers that line the entrance to Kroger so that I can not get around her.

I am in a mood now.....

Then, as if this hasn't been fun enough.......she proceeds to shuffle slowly toward the door (blocking me) and begins to dig her underwear out of her butt-crack....

Yes, you read that right....now I'm tight on her rear-end, only this time, it just gives me a front row seat to a wedgy pick!

Trip, trap, trip, trap

So, last night I had a dream, a nightmare really. I dreamed that a very mean, ominous-looking billy goat was coming at me with very demon-like eyes. He was trying to headbutt me. My loud screams awoke me.

Okay, so what does this dream mean.

Hmmmmm.....a billy goat, a white billy goat with big horns. That could be so many things...like an authority figure, you know, a big, white figure of authority..... or maybe an institution, you know, with big, long horns.

Why is it trying to headbutt me? That could be to push me down the "hill," or maybe it was to cause a brain injury and establish intellectual superiority that would otherwise be impossible....

Just some ideas.......

Bestest friends in the male world

So, I happen to have a male dog named Graham. My neighbor has a male dog named Benny. Graham and Benny are bestest friends.

I have to say, I am fascinated watching these two guys relate. I think it is a microcosm of my world. One of the things, out of many, that I have noticed is this: when Graham lifts his leg and goes, then Benny has to come and go in the same exact spot....to which Graham has to go again in that spot....and so it continues until one of them runs out of liquid.

Hmmmmm.........