Time to say goodbye

So, this past weekend I had to take my Becky to college. She is starting her freshman year at Taylor.

I am so very proud of her....of the young woman that she has become.

When my Becky entered my life, I was just turning 30. We were living outside Morgantown, WV on a farm. Life was complicated at that point....but my Becky came along and she brought joy and contentment to me.

Becky seemed to smile from the moment she was born. She loved life....she loved to watch life....she loved to watch her sister play and run past her. She would smile whenever she saw me enter a room. She loved to be held, but didn't demand it. She was content. She has remained that way all through life....not demanding.

As I drove her up to college I had a profound sense of sadness....of regrets. I realized that I had taken advantage of her sweet, non-demanding nature. I was a new mom....and I didn't realize that just because my Becky didn't demand my hugs and kisses didn't mean that she didn't want them.

As the time drew near to say goodbye and leave her....I fought the deep urge to hold her and kiss her and hug her.....and make up for lost time. I wanted to make up for the lost hugs and kisses....I wanted to turn back the clock and claim a 'do-over.'

As I hugged her for that last time....my eyes filled with tears....and my soul overflowed with sadness.

I wanted to hold her and never let her go....but I missed that time in her life....and now I am in a new season, where I have to step back and let her go....I just wished I would have held her more before this time.

My Becky, I love you!