A snowy night alone

So, fourteen years ago tonight....I sat in my living room, with all my Christmas lights turned on...the tree...the creche....the M&M lights around the doorway....the village....all aglow. I sat there, all alone......me and my baby to be. I was very pregnant....due any day....it was to be a boy. I had been in bed for about an hour, when suddenly I awoke to a familiar pain. It was getting close to the time when I would see his face. I went out to the living room, my two beautiful girls were tucked safely in bed. I turned on all the Christmas lights, and I sat there.....reading.....praying....and waiting to see his face....to hold him.

The pain went from every 15 minutes to every 10.....then to every 9.....8.....7......it was time to wake others up. We drove to the hospital....the roads were empty. It was an easy drive. We arrived and began preparations for his arrival.

My David was born on December 3rd, 1996. It was a Tuesday. He weighed 10 lbs. He was beautiful....we named him, David Nathaniel Hogan....."beloved of God, gift of God."

That was fourteen years ago tonight.....tonight.....I sit in my living room.....alone, well a dog beside me.....David and Becky asleep.....Katie away at college........and I am praying again.......praying for my David.

Next stop Hoboken

So, what does an angel look like? Hebrews 13:2 says, "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

I know some angels strike fear into those that see them, but it seems like maybe some don't look much different than us.

I spent the weekend in New York City....a visitor....not knowing how to use the Subway. I relied on the kindness of strangers....my angels for the weekend. The first one was a very kind, young New York policeman. He took the time to not only answer my questions, but teach me how to buy a subway card, and how much to put on it to get us from Times Square to Hoboken and back. The next one was a Metro worker. He put us on the right train with a beautiful smile. The next one was a kind couple who told us that we were on the wrong train and put us back in the right direction. The next one was a homeless man who pointed me to the right station. The next one was a young single girl. She helped us get to the right track, get on the right train and then she even exited at our stop and helped us figure out where we were and where we needed to go.

Who knew that angels travel by the subway.

A mulligan

So, bad news....I just had another birthday. I turned 47.

Good news....I thought I turned 47 last year......so, it's like a do-over!

Clomp clomp boom

So, okay, I admit it....I have become that crazy dog woman. I have resigned myself to the thought that when I am 70 years old, I will live in a house with 30 dogs and they will eat from my dishes (I hope not, but it's looking this way). Why do I say this? Because I have another dang dog post.

Yesterday I saw a blind woman walking downtown with her seeing-eye dog. I have lived in this small town for 14 years now, and this is the first time that I have seen her here....which means she is new in town. So my mind begins to run, "How does she walk to new places?" She must really trust that dog. She has no memory to use to help her navigate, it is total trust. If a step is there, the dog must tell her, if there is a pot hole or a skateboard laying on the sidewalk, the dog must take her around it.

This seems to be a visual of the verse, "We walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7.

Walk by faith, not by sight....so my eyes should not be trusted in this world? I should walk my spiritual journey by faith...trusting God to warn me when there is a step, or a hole, or a danger in front of me.

I began to wonder what would happened if this young woman ran out ahead of her dog? Oh, I know that sounds silly in this instance, but trust me, I know, I often find myself face down from a fall because I got out ahead of God.

You can teach an old dog new tricks

So, I don't want to be one of those crazy dog people....but what the heck.

Last night I was up in my bedroom and my Becky let Graham in from doing his bidness (business southern style) outside. I heard him coming in and knew what he would do. As soon as he gets in, he begins searching the house for me. So I turned off all the lights and ran into my closet and hid from him.....I know....I'm mean.

I hear Graham run up the stairs, as fast as he can, and I hear him come into my bedroom. All the lights are off, so he thinks I must be downstairs. He runs down the steps as fast as he can and I hear him running all over looking for me....kitchen, living room, dining room.....then I hear him run back up the stairs as fast as he can. This time he checks each bedroom along the way and comes back into my room. He goes into my bathroom, he runs back out and jumps up on the bed....then he runs downstairs as fast as he can. He runs to the downstairs bathroom, he checks the laundry room....back up the steps he runs as fast as he can. He comes into the bedroom and stops....and listens....and I hear his little nose going....then.....sniff, sniff, sniff, SNORT....under the closet door. He has found me.

When I emerge from the closet, his little tail is going crazy....he is patty-caking (his way of saying, "Pet me")....and he is so excited to see me. He is not mad at me for hiding from him....he does not think I am mean....he is just pleased to have found me.

I was convicted in that moment...not for how I hid from my dog....but for how I treat God. I do not, for the most part, run to find Him. I am not relentless in my search for Him at the start of each day....I am not relentless in my search for Him at the end of my day....as a matter of fact....for the most part....I make Him find me.

Okay......maybe I am becoming a crazy dog person.....because God is teaching this old dog a new trick.

A man's world

So, tonight I was walking past the bathroom and I hear, "Mom, do you want to see a foot-long terd?"

I laughed out load....these are words that I have never heard my daughters utter.....life with a 13 year old boy.

A treasure chest full

So, as a mom there are moments that are so very dear that they become little treasures that you store in a very safe place.

I have had several of those moments throughout the years with each of my children...Katie, Becky and David.

Just this past week, I have had a few of those moments with each of my children....one came just today....when my daughter Katie, told me one of the things that she loves about me.

She loves that I am "not quick to judge others" and that I do not "impose my ways on her, instead, when she asks for advice, I ask questions to walk her through processing her thoughts" (this is quoting her). She thinks that is a rare quality in mom's. I told her I wasn't sure about that...but I am sure about this, I have had moments when others have judged me, and I knew that there was so much more to the story, so I try to keep that in mind when things are happening....also, I have needed so much grace in my life, and therefore, I try to extend that same thing to others. Katie said, "Yeah mom, I appreciate that in you."

"...and Mary treasured these things in her heart."